September 7, 2024

Diners at a large potluck dinner party where the invitation simply states, “Bring a dish to share!” attend with a lot of trust. Usually more trust than I possess. There’s no rhyme or reason. People just bring random dishes they are proud of/have time to make/purchase from a restaurant or grocery store, and that’s if they have the time and the budget to bring something. I attend those potlucks, and I appreciate all of the efforts people make when they bring their food. I love the fellowship and conversations, but my favorite potlucks are the ones where the “luck” part of the potluck, usually with a lot of help from the organizer, creates something special when it all comes together.

Let’s talk about the history of potlucks, shall we? I looked it up on www.potluck.us (yes – that’s a real website – I love this country), and here’s what they said about potlucks:

“As far back as the 1500s, men and women were known to save their leftover food should an unexpected guest arrive at their door. Excess food would be stored in a pot and kept warm in order to serve a guest on short notice. That guest was left to the “luck of the pot” should he or she seek something to eat. The practice was particularly common in medieval times.”

They add that potlucks became popular in the United States during the Great Depression, as neighbors would take what they had out of the pantry, and gather together to enjoy a much more varied meal than they would otherwise have at home.

So, in terms of an opportunity for excellent and interesting food, the potluck pedigree of warmed-over leftovers and Grapes of Wrath dust bowl dining doesn’t bode very well at all. 

I’ll admit it. I love good food. My wife treats food as fuel – she eats to live. I treat food as an opportunity to experience something wonderful – I live to eat. For some reason, she’s far thinner than I am. Weird, right?  

When we host dinner parties, I like to make the entire dinner. When guests ask what they can bring, I say a drink to share would be lovely. If they insist, a dessert or appetizer is always appreciated, but I want to be responsible for the entire dinner. On Thanksgiving Day, the most important holiday of the year (my Dad would disagree – he still thinks it’s Father’s Day), I make the entire meal. Again, appetizers are fine to bring, but keep it light. We have feasting to do!

And, not that you asked, but the ideal size for a dinner party is six or eight. With a group that size, the entire table is set up for one collective conversation and smaller side conversations. So during the dinner, a table of six or eight can all be enjoying the same moments together. I love that. A crowded ten works too, but not as well as six or eight.

But sometimes, we go beyond the ideal dinner party size. And in those cases, a non-random potluck can be an amazing event, and an opportunity to experience incredible and wonderful food. The key is “non-random.” The organizer has to put some thought, effort, organization, and, hopefully, creativity into it.

I recently attended a large and spectacular potluck event where the organizer told everyone to bring food on a skewer. As he put it, it was his way of “sticking it” to being old enough to qualify for Medicare. People could bring their skewers already cooked and prepared, or they could cook them on his grill right at the party. I brought three pounds of shrimp skewered around slices of spicy sausages, seasoned with cajun seasoning – my attempt at jambalaya on a stick, and cooked it right there. But I was floored by the sensational and creative food at the table, all of it on sticks! Some examples:

• Caprese salad – tomatoes, basil, mozzarella, and balsamic glaze on a stick
• Filet mignon steak on a stick
• Ground lamb with mint on a stick
• Homemade corn dogs (obviously, on a stick)
• Carrot cake, individually sliced and on a stick. Admittedly, you didn’t eat it on a stick, but the carrot cake was delicious and the serving style creatively kept with the theme.
• Vegetable skewers 
• Gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches, cut into quarters and presented like a bouquet of flowers on sticks
• So much more!

The combination of excellent planning and being surrounded by friends who are outstanding and creative cooks made for a potluck that maximized both fellowship and food quality. And, with all of the sticks, you really didn’t need cutlery. Bonus! Other superb potlucks I have been a part of recently have had themes of sandwiches, Canadian food (better than you would think!), Southern food, the Super Bowl, and more.

So here are my suggestions for a highly successful potluck, in no particular order:

• Have a theme
• If you are cooking the main course and asking others to bring something, don’t make it random. Make sure you have enough sides, salads, vegetables, carbs, vegetarian dishes, etc. Never trust that it will all just work out. Do I have control issues? Sure. But only about important issues like food. Don’t tell anyone, but you can look like you’re not a control freak by just asking everyone to post what they’re bringing. Then people see that there are needs, and choose their dishes accordingly. But make no mistake, you’re watching that list very carefully, and you are ready to suggest that someone not bring the fifth macaroni and cheese dish. Although, come to think of it, that might be a bold and beautiful theme for a potluck, so let me keep thinking about that. Mac and Cheese Fest ‘24 could be in my future.
• If you see a part of the meal that people are not signing up for, be ready to make something awesome to fill in that need.
• Do your best to invite a high percentage of couples where at least one of them is a superb cook. This is by far the most important suggestion. We are so lucky in our neighborhood to be flooded with men and women who are truly amazing, innovative, and fun-loving when it comes to preparing food. And if you don’t have friends like that, start looking for them!
• Finally, at the end of the potluck, take your dishes that you brought home. No host wants to be left with a bunch of dishes and leftovers, or to have the responsibility of figuring out what belongs to whom and then how and when to get it back to them. Treat it like a backpacking trip: Pack it in, then pack it out.

So here’s to the dinner parties and potluck events that bring us together, provide an environment for conversation and fellowship, and, at their best, treat us to incredible, interesting, and highly creative meals. I hope the next one you attend is all of that!

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Post #116 on www.drmdmatthews.com

NOTES

I read a book a few years back called The Wisdom of Crowds, by James Surowiecki. One of his findings was that given the right circumstances, crowds can do a better job of thinking and figuring out problems than experts. Interesting and thought-provoking book. Maybe that can work for random potlucks. According to Surowiecki, it takes the right conditions: a diverse group of people, independent thinkers, a minimum of communication and imitation, and people who trust the process. Applying that to big unthemed potlucks, I think the main criteria would be diversity. I guarantee you the meal will be way better if multiple cultures are represented on the table. As an additional takeaway, I obviously don’t trust the wisdom of crowds when it comes to food. Maybe I will evolve . . . 

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When I go to a potluck, I typically bring enough food for twelve. I always want to bring more, but I think that’s the right amount. But I might bring more. 

I’m not a big appetizer guy. To me, appetizers can be almost a meal in themselves.  Actually, that might be a good potluck theme as well. One of my many lamentable qualities is that when there is an assortment of delicious appetizers on the table, I will eat them. And when dinner is served, I’m not even hungry! But, back to my lamentable qualities, I will never let not being hungry stop me from enjoying a delicious meal. So I leave the party uncomfortably full, and I’m not angry at myself. I’m angry at whoever put out those delicious appetizers. 

I’ve been reading too much about the epidemic of loneliness in our culture. Part of this is attributed to too much reading of social media, and all of the comparisons that come with that. And part of it is just from how easy it is to never leave our homes. The Dalai Lama said, “Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.” I was thinking about that while writing this post. Good food or not, social gatherings with friends and neighbors are good for all of us. Going back to how I finished the post: Here’s to the dinner parties and potluck events that bring us together, provide an environment for conversation and fellowship, and, at their best, treat us to incredible, interesting, and highly creative meals. I hope the next one you attend is all of that!

Picture from www.potluck.us