August 31, 2025

In my next life, I’m going to do everything I can to be a rock star. 

Well, not a rock star. I don’t think I have that in me. But I’d love to be a musician on the stage supporting a real rock star. I’d also be happy as a country musician, as a lot of country is closer to rock than most people think.  I might even settle for being a roadie, so Jackson Browne could sing about me. But what I am really shooting for is being a musician on the stage and living the life.

This is something I have been saying for decades. Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I feel, as Bon Jovi would say, like “I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold.” I worked fairly hard in high school and college, then spent a career in education serving students and parents, and loved it all. In so many ways, life has worked out for me beyond my wildest expectations.

But if I get the chance at this wonderful life again, I want to do something different. When Jill and I find a restaurant we like, and if we both order dishes we think are fantastic, here’s what happens when we go back. Jill orders the same thing again. Why change when it was so good last time? Me? I order something different for sure. I look forward to different tastes, different preparations, and a new experience. 

That’s how it’s going to be in my next life. Let’s do something different. Instead of aiming to be a good student and being a leader in a gazillion high school activities, I’ll hole up in my room and try to be the best musician I can. There’s still plenty of fun to be had, but music will be the focus. I want to get those 10,000 hours under my belt before I leave high school, graduate, and see what happens. 

Musicians struggle for years before they make it. In the A Complete Unknown, Bob Dylan is asked who he wants to be. I loved his answer: “I want to be a musician . . . who eats.” Watching the struggles of Billy Joel in the superb HBO documentary is inspiring. The artist’s struggle is a tale as old as time. If I get that opportunity in my next life, I hope I can be good enough to eat.

I dropped out of college for a short time to become a professional musician. If you define a professional musician as someone who makes a living playing music, then my time as a street musician singing and playing guitar on the streets of West Berlin surely count. Was I a musician who ate? Barely. But I paid rent, got free beers every night, and did manage to buy some food. I started my professional music career weighing 185 and finished it weighing 25 pounds less. As someone once told me, it was their time in Germany that let the Beatles know they were onto something big. It was my time there that let me know my future in music was . . . less bright.

Could I have done both? Could I have kept my career and been an accomplished musician? My amazing friend Tom, a blog reader and highly successful superintendent, did just that. He played his tenor sax in jazz clubs throughout his career. And upon his retirement, he opened his own jazz night club in Austin. I met another superintendent in New Orleans who carried his trumpet around Bourbon Street, and would sit in with three or four different bands at night. My friend Ben (a blog reader) has managed a highly successful career in school leadership, and also put out several albums with his country band, Truckstop. I’m blown away by that dual commitment.

Me? I didn’t think it could work. I was in a band while I was doing my student teaching. We would play at college parties and a few other places, and we were pretty good. But soon, I started spotting some of my high school students at the venues we were playing, and I winced when they would raise their red solo cup and yell out, “Mr. Matthews!!!!!” So, I quit. To me, the two were incompatible. 

I sold my electric guitar and amp (I do regret selling my beautiful 1970s vintage Les Paul), and gave up on rock-n-roll.  I’ve been playing my acoustic guitar for all of these years. I’ve gotten a little better, but I never put in the time to dramatically improve. Why couldn’t I have followed examples that were right in front of me? My friend Brooks, a blog reader who is now retired from several successful careers, has used his time to become quite accomplished on guitar. My cousin Al is doing the same thing. Me? I’ve made marginal improvements.

Fast forward to last Halloween. Halloween is huge in my neighborhood. We have hundreds of trick-or-treaters coming to our door, and dozens of friends coming by to visit. My friend Vince walked in to say hello, and, in passing, asked if I knew anybody who played guitar and sang, as they needed a rhythm guitarist in their band. I pulled out my acoustic guitar, and sang Tom Petty’s The Apartment Song right there in the living room. Vince said. “OK! Let’s try it.”

And now, I’m officially in a band. I bought a new Fender Telecaster – it’s a remake of their 1951 original and it’s beautiful – and a Fender amp, and I practice with Run Screaming every Sunday night. Our tag line is, “There’s a lot of great rock-n-roll that came out after we graduated from college.” We play mostly post-1990 rock-n-roll, and I love it. I’ve been part of three performances so far, and we will have more in the future.

We have some amazing musicians in the band – people who have gone way beyond 10,000 hours and have experience in the music industry. And then there’s me. I have a lot of work to do. My guitar playing needs to improve, and my singing has to get better. I can hit the notes, and I can harmonize with anything, but I need to work on my vocal tone. And as for my guitar playing, I aspire to a quote attributed to Beethoven: “To play a wrong note is insignificant. But to play without passion is inexcusable.” And maybe I can reduce that wrong note ratio.

I guess that’s what retirement can be: new beginnings and a chance to pursue dreams that we put aside. Maybe I don’t need to wait for my next life. I thought I gave up on this dream back in 1985, and I’m getting a chance to at least dabble and get a taste of it. I won’t become a faster swimmer in my 60s than I was when I was 18, but I believe I can become a better musician than I’ve ever been. Finally, and you’ve all heard me say this way too much, being a continuous learner and struggling to solve new problems is kind of the Hokey Pokey of brain health. That’s what it’s all about. And if we can have a great time while we are immersed in learning, it’s like a double Hokey Pokey.

I have no illusions of how good I can become. I remember a high school graduation ceremony where a student told a story of a person admiring a concert pianist, and saying to her, “I would give half my life to play as well as you.” To which the pianist responded, “Funny, that’s exactly what I did.” I did not give half my life to music, but with this new retirement opportunity, I’ve got a chance to improve that ratio. I know I can get better, and, more importantly, I will love the journey.

Post #137 on www.drmdmatthews.com

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NOTES

I’m enjoying hanging with the guys in Run Screaming. The band has been around since 2022, and I’m the newest member. They’ve been patient with me, and we are figuring out how I can build on the already great sound of the band. And the best sign is that our four-hour practices just fly by. It’s a total flow experience. So far so good. To see bios of the band members, and see/hear videos (all done before my arrival), click here. Information on how to hire us is right there!

I do mostly backup vocals, which is perfect, but every once in a while they give me a song where I sing lead vocals. Click here to see the last part of The Middle, performed last month here in Malibu.

My mind tells me that the reincarnation thing is a gamble. Though there are smart people who believe in it. Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss, M.D. tells of his belief, based on work with patients, that reincarnation is real and that we travel through time with the same group of souls, reuniting in each lifetime with loved ones, each time playing different roles. I love that idea. About one third of global citizens believe in reincarnation. Still, the life I’m living is a sure thing. I need to make the most of it, do the most good that I can, and keep it interesting.

I watched several Malibu High School students become professional musicians – jazz, rock, and even opera. All of them were more than bright enough to go to college and excel. And while some attended college, others did not, and they have all been successful and, I think, quite happy with their decision. I am proud and jealous of all of them, and I follow their careers with great interest. 

I’ve written this before I think, but my biggest tip ever as a street musician came when I was playing in a very large West Berlin restaurant. I had a partner, and we would work out a deal with the restaurant manager where we would play for 20-30 minutes, then pass the hat for tips. After a particularly rousing version of Joy to the World (the “Jeremiah was a bullfrog” version), a man called me over and had a request. He said he would give us 20 marks (a huge tip!) to play on the other side of the restaurant. We moved right away!